Slow Sex Author Reveals Tips for Women
Yearning for more than Hollywood romance or porn-style sex where everything is glossy and done “right”? Orgasmic meditation might be the key to unlocking unbridled passion in the bedroom that is not made up or comes with batteries, but au natural.
Nicole Daedone, founder and CEO of OneTaste (47 Moss St.; 800-994-0041; OneTaste.us), a sexuality education center for orgasmic mediation based in San Francisco, found her sexual awakening at San Francisco State University.
As a graduate associate teacher and a “young, budding feminist,” she stumbled upon women’s feelings of sexual inadequacy by accident in the classroom one day, says the Bay Area native.
She was stunned by the response to a questionnaire women filled out in the classroom that asked, “What do you want to know about sex?”
“Every single woman responded back with some version of ‘What’s wrong with me?'” Nicole says.
“Here I was thinking that we had this big sexual liberation and basically we stopped at equal rights and not equal fulfillment,” she recalls.
“I think in my mind, at the time, and in many people’s minds around sexuality there is a recipe. I must not be following it correctly, something’s wrong with me because I’m not having these explosive experiences that I’ve heard about,” says Nicole, a 45-year-old bisexual woman.
She didn’t have an answer for her students that semester, but it set her on a journey that has revolutionized her life and is now her mission: equal fulfillment through orgasmic meditation, also known as OM.
Orgasmic meditation is a meditative practice where a woman’s genitals are stroked by her partner for 15 minutes.
Orgasmic meditation isn’t tantric sex, she pointed out. While both are “delicious experiences,” the difference between tantric sex and OM is ornate versus simplicity, she says. In the tantric sex experience that practitioners take on its culture and language. OM is simply about experiencing what is naturally already present without adding a buzzing bunny or anything else.
“Slow sex is just about peeling it back. You don’t add anything extra. You’re simply experiencing what’s there,” says Nicole, “and what’s there ends up being so profound that you wouldn’t want to put anything on top of it.”
The simple act added to everyday sex becomes a revolution under the sheets.
Once she mastered the practice, she ditched what she calls the “empty calorie version of sex” spoon fed to people by Hollywood and the porn industry and is now teaching others how to tap into, “a really deep place that is available, that is far different,” she says.
In a city known for talking about sex in public, but which also has a reputation for being “home to all of those damn hippies,” Nicole has been debunking skeptics (she used to be one) and demystifying people’s frustrations with female orgasm taking it mainstream.
Since 2004, when OneTaste opened its doors, Nicole estimates she’s introduced 4,500 people to OM through workshops at its South of Market office, and countless others through online videos and Skype workshops, she says.
The art of female orgasm
After leaving the ivory tower behind to follow her passion, she made a creative stop in 1995 as the founder and original owner of 111 Minna Street Art Gallery (111 Minna St.; 415-974-1719; 111MinnaGallery.com, an alternative event space that displays avant-garde art in the South of Market district.
The space brought together performance and visual art in a party atmosphere and created something unique and unseen at the time, says Nicole, pointing out that art and sex aren’t that different.
Art and sex carry elements of unbridled “freedom of expression” and “seemingly disparate pieces coming together,” Nicole says, that creates something very different from everyday life. Those free-flying radical elements are the underlying force behind OneTaste.
“That same element is what informs OneTaste,” says Nicole, author of Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm. “It’s like a different element of sexuality expressing itself than we see in everyday life.”
“Art takes a very different form and experiences what’s there without using an end result to determine whether or not what was there was good. I think that’s actually what works best for a woman’s body,” says Nicole, about women’s process of reaching orgasm.
“You have to work differently, a plus b equals the ever sought after climax,” actually involves the entirety of women’s being rather than simply focusing on the genitals, says Nicole.
The one thing she hopes for is that everyone gets the message that, “every person is orgasmic and that your orgasms [are] potentially a whole life journey,” she says. Adding, that in life people don’t have to fit themselves into a definition, “you can actually use your own body to define what’s true for you.”
Find your way to ultimate pleasure at OneTaste.us.
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